State of Confusion
It’s monday. I’m confused, angry and pretty much feeling in a bad mood. This is like my 3rd or 4th attempt at blogging. I normally give up for fear of offending someone OR because I loose interest so fast. But I have to “talk” to someone, and no body else will listen.
So i called Oaklawn today to see if i can get Dava into some kind of therapy. Yes they would be happy to see her but not for another 2 months. Really? that long? Whatever, I’ll take that appt, because it’s better than nothing at all. Dava needs help and if I have to wait 2 months so be it.
Then I was going to go job hunting today, but my Dad took the car to South Bend to see if he can get a picture of his dead dog off the camera from a video. Really Dad? the stinky dumb dog is dead! I never liked that dog anyhow.
So then i went to the garage to get the chainsaw out, and it’s not there. And supposedly no one has borrowed it either. Stolen? maybe. Pawned? possibly! either way, MY chainsaw is gone and I’m really upset about it. Like so angry I could cry?!
There is so much I want to say, but I’m afraid of offending people. I know I shouldn’t be, but I am. Like I need a diary. Sometimes I just want to let my feelings loose and say all that’s on my mind. If I did that, I would either be locked up in a mental ward, or divorced, or have alot less friends and family who care. Should that worry me? When did I start to care about other’s feelings and opinions? Am i that old that my own feelings and happiness have to be put aside?
maybe i just won’t publish this to the internet. I know there are other women/mothers who feel the same way I do. I know I’m not alone. But why are we so afraid that we can’t tell someone how we feel? I’m hoping to loose my inhibitions and eventually connect with other moms who have the same issues I do. For now, I’m just going to let it say what it says, and be happy with that. But I’ll be back!!
